he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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