That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
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We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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