im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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