Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize