I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
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When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
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Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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