i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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