i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
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then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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