I'm gonna have a badass scar
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize