i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
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I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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