strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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