A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize