it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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