no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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