Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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