Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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