still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
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His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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