Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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