did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
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Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
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You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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