Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize