I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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