So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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