Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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