i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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