The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
How naked do you want me to be?
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