Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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