he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
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No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
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I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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