She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Pooping to opera.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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