I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize