bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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