You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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