in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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