Just cropdusted the office
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
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Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
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Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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