Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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