after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
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He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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