Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
there is glitter all over my balls
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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