I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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