Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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