K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
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dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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