No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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