Pregnant stripper...not hot.
oh god the rape fog is back!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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