i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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