Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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