Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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