do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize