Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize