can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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