i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
40s are totally the cure
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize