She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
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if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
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Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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