Yo dont text me then not text me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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