all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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